Writing can be such a challenge for the most part. My friend ‘Shaw’ ( yes, that’s not his real name) who is my room mate ‘Mindy’s’ (that’s not her real name either) boyfriend always takes digs on me on how I can just sit at my table and just type away – random things that just pop up like how I felt walking down the street or about the cute hot dog vendor and call myself a ‘writer’.
Sure all my works may not have great didactic endings and may be some of them are about a ‘succulent breakfast burrito and the orgasmic play of flavors in my mouth’ but I’m sure there are readers out there who enjoy reading what I write (???)
I have spent months groping in deep darkness in broad daylight waiting for the creative burst of ideas to happen, been plagued by self doubt and have pestered Mindy to great extends with my crazy rambles one time and moody silence the other. I guess such is the lot of us writers- on our knees in the dark, moving forward finding a spot on the grass and waiting for Fireworks!
So in my pursuit to create a memorable, believable, three dimensional character/ protagonist for my novel I chose to portray a woman in her thirties who seems grown up but is actually still emotionally very immature from the emotional abuse she had to undergo as a child and her love interest is an older married man. This is based on my personal experience of having been ‘in love’ with an older man, but more on that in a later post.
It is almost the strange case of Jekyll and Hyde where to the world she appears to put on this fascade of being the epitome of moral uprightness when actually she isn’t and behind closed doors she is enjoying every minute of her time with this older man all the while justifying to herself that this is what her heart wants. The lover on the other hand is a self absorbed SOB who on the onset showers her with the love, acceptance and adulation which she missed from her own father but later goes on to being as emotionally abusive.
So is this man her lover or her father in her mind? Sometimes I struggle to draw the line even as I write.Is this strange or does this happen – where the writer gets confused and you just need to draw a line on how further down in the subconscious of your character you really need to dive into?
So I’m leaving for that breakfast burrito. Thank you to all the bloggers who dropped by to read my first post. Look forward to seeing you around more often.
Ever tried eating soggy chewing gum? Well, word of advice – Don’t. I always carry a bottle of water along with other miscellaneous in my bag which my friends call ‘my treasure trove of not-so-precious junk’ and it somehow leaked and into my last pack of gum. Pig that I am decided to ignore the sogginess and painstakingly separated the tiny ‘filament’ of gum that was unwavering in its resolve to stick to the paper and put it in my mouth only to discover that soggy gum in your mouth tastes like wet paper mache…’Yuk!’
It’s the middle of the night and I’ve been roaming around like a bloody insomniac these past couple of days just trying to figure out how to complete this chapter that I’ve started and the ‘Goddamn itch‘ just wouldn’t go away. Before you let your imaginations run wild about the itch and where I could possibly be itching – It was just a mental thing – and it has led me here to the point where I’m writing my very first blogpost on WordPress.
I’ve been writing for ten years now and if your wondering – Why so late to blogging? Well, I used to have a blog at Blogspot which due to certain personal issues and others moved from ‘temporarily inactive’ to ‘permanently discontinued’
Lot of water has flown under the bridge since that and finally as I finish the first draft of my first novel I start my blog.